I’ve never been one to remember small details, so I didn’t recall the content in the next section of my journal. Yesterday I asked Jordan if she remembered it. (She was home for the weekend :) because she was having a hard time coping with… well, with life :(. It happens sometimes, and I love that we can still be there to support and help her regroup, refocus, and get back on track. It's one of the many benefits of having your child go to a college close to home.)
I inquired: “Do you remember when you had a chart in your room to help keep track of how long it took to get into the shower and put your clothes away?” She said she did remember, and she "hated it". Well okay then.
I, on the other hand, did not hate it, and I'll tell you why... I was quite pleased with this chart for one reason, and one reason only; we were witnessing positive results. She was in bed before 10:00 for an entire week! More sleep can never be a bad thing.
Obviously, filling out this chart was rough for Jordan. It was work. It held her accountable for her behaviors, behaviors she was being told, by her parents, needed to be changed. How many thirteen year old girls do you know, who would enjoy doing a task like this?
It was almost as if we were putting her through a simple form of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). One definition of CBT is:
- a type of psychotherapy in which negative patterns of thought about the self and the world are challenged in order to alter unwanted behavior patterns or treat mood disorders such as depression.
Jordan hated CBT then, and still refuses to try it today. She's aware that the research claims it's "one of the most effective treatments for conditions where anxiety or depression is the main problem. It is as effective as antidepressants for many types of depression."She tried it once years ago, and was convinced that it made her life more difficult. Well sure it did. That's basically the point; to push through and get past the crap, until you realize it's possible to live life without these negative patterns. It's no wonder this type of therapy is such a hard sell, especially for those who battle with anxiety on a day to day basis. They're told; "You may get better, but only if you push yourself to the breaking point, by facing your demons. Oh yeah, and you need to do this totally independently. Good luck We'll check back in at our next session."
Ugh, right? It's a good thing many of those who struggle are "superheroes", because it sounds like a prerequisite for this type of request would be to have some kind of secret superpower at your disposal.