Saturday, October 28, 2017

If I Knew Then What I Know Now...

Here’s the parental logic Adam and I were trying to implement. You tell me if you think it makes sense. Since it was taking Jordan over two hours to get ready for bed, and she wasn’t getting more than 6 hours of sleep a night, out of desperation we came up with a solution:  Maybe Jordan should give up a couple of the extra curricular activities that were taking up so much of her time.  Makes sense, right? Aside from her advanced classes in 7th grade, she was in Builder’s Club, intramural volleyball, and three choirs. That’s right, I said three. 

 By pulling back, one could assume there would be more time to get homework done, more down time to chill and regroup, and hence... she would get to bed earlier. Problem solved. Except she informed us that even if she had no homework, and didn’t stay after school, she would still get to bed late. Um, may I ask why? (Not sure if asked her this or not, but I assume at this point, she wouldn't have been able to verbalize an answer anyway. Just a hunch.)

Here’s what was written in my journal: "Why? On Purpose? OCD?? Why??" So yes, I was acknowledging that there was a problem, but I was also getting hyped. We knew she needed to do more than just study to have a well rounded life. We also realized we were suggesting she drop all the things she took pleasure in, but as I wrote "I get angry and resentful because she is slowly sucking the life out of me. The struggles keep coming back again and again. This is a pain (literally)."

Wait! This is it! I think this is why I'm sharing our story. 

I knew things weren't going well. I wrote about it, repeatedly. Jordan was miserable, I was slowly going down the emotional toilet, and Adam and I were frantically grasping to find solutions. We were doing our best, but we weren't succeeding. We weren't doing enough.

That being said, if you or your loved ones are struggling and feel like you're banging your heads up against a wall, please realize that you don't have to go through it alone. There's no shame in asking for help. Actually (in my humble opinion) the act of admitting and realizing you can't handle something on your own, is one of the bravest, most admirable traits a person can possess.  

Thank you.

Us Too

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