Saturday, February 11, 2017

Did We Do Everything We Could?

Here's one more example of how Jordan warmed my mama-heart. When she turned nine, we gave her an ipad Nano. I was worried it was a bit excessive for her age, but watching her open it, negated all of my doubts. She was so overwhelmed that initially she didn't speak. Then she quietly asked how much it cost; as if she didn't think she was worthy of receiving such a gift. I almost cried.

We told her it doesn't matter what it cost, and she deserved this gift because of who she was, and all of the special qualities she possessed. It was so fulfilling to see our child show a true appreciation for something.

I'm not sharing any of this to brag or gloat about how special Jordan was. I'm trying to explain why we weren't always sure how to handle our situation. To me, it was hard to know if the decisions we made were actually in Jordan's best interest. You know, the "what ifs"... What if we would have gotten her help sooner, what if someone told me that going head to head with a child like Jordan, may not have been the most effective way to deal with her?

I was certainly aware that she was intense, hard on herself, and struggled to control her emotions, but here's the thing... there were also many times when she was a happy, exuberant child who loved to learn, and had a true zest for life. So would she have benefited from earlier professional intervention? Your guess is as good as mine, at least back then.

Unfortunately (or fortunately?) as we watched Jordan mature and get bombarded with the academic and social pressures that go hand in hand with life, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and being a perfectionist, the question "to get help or not to get help" became blatantly, painfully clear to us. We did need help.

Thank you.

Us Too

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