Sunday, March 26, 2017

Fears, Will Smith, and Self Actualization

If any of you are keeping track, this was the second time Jordan mentioned that she didn't want to become an adult. The first time was after a dance recital, when she was five. This time, she was eleven.  She was afraid to grow up.

After these two incidences, my mind began to conjure up a couple of questions:
One: Does being an adult really seem that bad?
And two: Should I begin to take her strong aversion towards adulthood, personally?

 Every once in a while she would hint that she was thinking about her future. We watched the movie College Road Trip, around this time. As I was wiping away a few tears (because I dreaded the day my babies would leave me) Jordan said, with a bit of a cocky attitude: “Oh, I'm going away to college."  Ouch.

But no worries.  Eight year old Kevin just about melted my heart with his follow up comment: “I'm not gonna do that. I'm not ever gonna go to college and leave you, Mommy.” I knew in my heart that one day all three of them would eventually leave, but hearing Kevin say this was a nice boost for my Mommy-morale.

Jordan's fears extended well into her high school years. The mere mention of things like college or driving, "terrified her". But here we are today. Jordan chose a college close enough away that she has her support team (aka Us) :) available, when necessary.  She also got her license, which was huge. Driving continues to terrify her, and she avoids it whenever possible, but I have no doubt she will gain the comfort and confidence necessary, in her own time.

Will Smith (who I have admired since his mom got scared and said, "You're movin with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air.", believes that fears are not real. I respectfully disagree. I believe fears and anxieties are very real. The difficulty lies in finding safe, productive coping mechanisms, which would conceivably lead to the new neural pathways necessary, to hopefully achieve self actualization.

How's that for a blast from the past from my Psychology degree days?  I think I may have hurt myself a little bit. ;)

 Thank you.

Us Too

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