Wednesday, February 7, 2018

"I Know It's Me"


Let me get this straight. You want us to leave Jordan alone, let her take charge of her nightly routine, and see how it goes? This advise was given to me by Jordan's counselor, in front of Jordan. That was probably the most important portion of the plan. Jordan realized that this idea didn't come from us, so Adam and I couldn't be blamed for anything; not for being uncaring, and not for making the situation worse.  So we did what we were told, and we backed off.

Like any other week, Jordan spent 3 to 4 hours in her room each night doing homework. Well, I assumed she was doing homework, but since I wasn't checking in on her, I couldn't be absolutely sure.  In the back of my mind I suspected OCD was the culprit for her issues, (it was written in my journal) but I don't think I had any idea what that actually meant.

For me personally, I felt the week went pretty well. There was almost no conflict.  I was able to go to bed earlier than usual, although I have to admit it was stressful not knowing what she was doing or what time she was going to bed. It reminded me of the excruciating time when we took Jordan's pacifiers away. Ugh. This parenting thing. Does it ever get easier?

In counseling the following week, Jordan divulged that her bed time basically stayed the same, averaging around 11:00. Although this may not sound terribly late, keep in mind she got up at 5:30 every morning.  I know how I feel after a full week of 6 1/2 or less hours of sleep a night, and I'm not an alien-like adolescent growing at an astronomical rate.

Jordan was not at all fond of our new parenting assignment. In her opinion it didn't go very well, and when she realized we had differing points of view regarding it's effectiveness, her comment was "Great. Bedtime is going to be 11:00 from now on.  I know it's me."

Today I realize how telling this statement was.  It shows how little control Jordan believed she had over her behaviors. Without the help of her parents she felt slated for failure. How could someone not experience a sense of anxiety, when they felt as if they had zero control?

Our next step was to reach out to the middle school for help, because it was obvious we still needed it.

Thank you.

Us Too

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