Here's how acutely connected I was to Jordan. When the doctor mentioned that she may need her tonsils and adenoids out because she had so many ear infections, it freaked me out. It was as if time froze for a moment. My initial thought was, No way. No way was someone going to cut into my baby, for any reason. It actually made me physically shudder when I allowed myself to think about it. Yep. Hyper-focused.
I sometimes wondered if Jordan was feeling the same way about me. Was she in tune with, and obsessed or worried about my moods and feelings? The answer to this was a definite no. How could I be so sure? I knew this because one time when I was at my wits end, while visiting family in Western PA, I yelled that I was ready to go home. I'm sure this had nothing to do with Jordan's behavior, since she never threw at least one huge fit while in Western PA (she says sarcastically). And what do you think the five year old Jordan replied back to me?
She screamed that she was "ready to have no Mom!"
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