The Pros and Cons of Feeling So Crappy

Here are some cons that I experienced through my depression and anxiety:

I realize that I may not have been very open minded and accepting of people who appeared to be living "outside of the box" before having Jordan, and going through all of this.

I need to take a prescription medication, and I don't know for how long, or if forever. A man-made medication is helping me to function. This is a first for me, and it sucks. It's even worse that my teen age daughters are also taking them.

I now have a better understanding of how Jordan felt all of those years. :(

My relationship with the girls was rough for a while, especially with Jordan.

There was so much that I didn't understand about the girls, for too long.

I realize that there will inevitably be times when I need to completely rely on Adam. This kind of scares the crap out of me. When you find yourself using your spouse's soap in the hopes that the aroma will somehow help you get through your day, you are definitely reliant upon another person.

I now know that when things get bad, they can get really bad.



Now for the pros:

I am much more accepting of people who appear to be living "outside of the box". Everyone has their reasons.

If need be, there are man-made medications out there that can help people persevere, and get through these rough times. So far, all three of us have been lucky enough to have found meds that work.

I now have a better understanding of how Jordan felt all of those years, and still sometimes does today.  I no longer get angry.

My relationship with the girls has gotten stronger since all of this mess began. I think that we enjoy each other's company more than we used to.

I have learned so much from the girls because of our experiences.

I have no doubt that Adam will be there for me, no matter what I am going through, or what state I am in.

I now know that things can get better. :)

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Of course everyone's experiences are different. It took Jordan three therapists and four medication changes before she found what is currently working for her.

It is my belief (so take it for what it's worth) that there are different types, or levels, of depression and anxiety. It seems that if it stems from stressful situations in your life, it is more "treatable", for lack of a better word. Kayla and I seem to fit into this category.

Then there are people who appear to have it so much worse. They are extremely sensitive, react intensely to small triggers, are unable to self-soothe, and are emotionally volatile. Unfortunately, Jordan appears to share many of these traits. Crap.

No, life isn't meant to be easy. But it also isn't meant to suck. As long as we are all willing to try our best, to avoid it from sucking, I think that we (Too) can be okay.

Thank you,

Us Too