Monday, March 14, 2016

A Self Reflection

I imagine there are a number of you wondering why I didn't just give in, and let Jordan wear diapers until she was ready. Some may feel that I was very much in the wrong, and pushing her the way that I did, could have contributed to her psychological issues.

I would be lying if I said that these thoughts haven't entered into my mind. Especially when you look up the definition of anal retentiveness in Wikipedia, and the origins of the word are said to focus around:

'toilet training. Freud hypothesized that children who experience conflicts during this period of time may develop "anal" personality traits, namely those associated with a child's efforts at excretory control: orderliness, stubbornness, a compulsion for control.[2] If these qualities continue into later life, the person is said to be "anal-retentive"'.

Can we all say it together?  ******CRINGE!******

Because we had our fair share of conflicts during this period, that's for sure.

So, why did I act the way that I did? Why did her bathroom habits become my issue? Well, why do parents make any of the decisions that they make, regarding their children?

I think I actually may have at least a small part of this answer. (drum roll, please!)  It's because... making decisions for our children is all that we have ever done. Since the minute they were born, we decided what they wore, whether they drank from a bottle or breast, when and where they slept, who watched them, where they went, when they bathed, when they got a diaper change...   Screech!!!!!  That's me coming to a complete halt.

This is certainly not an excuse, but do you see the dilemma here? All of a sudden, parents are supposed to leave it all up to a three year old. Give all the control and decision making responsibility, to their three year old. (While still, most likely, having to clean up a literal mess, afterwards.)

For some (me) this was a hard pill to swallow.
It could be the reason why I acted the way I did, fifteen years ago.

Or maybe I was just stubborn. Or stuck. :)

Thank you,

Us Too

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