Breathe (2 AM)

First things first. I need to share that Jordan got her license yesterday! Exactly one week before she leaves for college. She has conquered a huge fear, and couldn't have phrased it any better when she said: "Anxiety doesn't have anything on me." Yay!!

The second thing I wanted to share came to me on a hike. I was asked (and this is not the first time) by another soul-sister-mother, "So what are you doing for you?"

Well... I run, and it's still a life saver. But what else? Then I mentioned Us Too. I knew there was something else that I do "for me". I write.

I told her if I saw there were 0 (zero) followers for Us Too, obviously I would stop blogging. But I would never stop writing. I would continue writing in my journal.

Just this morning I poured my heart out, writing how I feel about Jordan leaving for college. Afterwards, at Adam's suggestion, I shared these feelings with her. Because why not? Why shouldn't she be told how important she is to me, how she's my buddy, how happy and sad I am at the same time, and how much I love spending time with her? I've gotten much better at sharing my feelings verbally, mostly because of Adam. She told me I'll always be her mother, and she's not not going to find another one to replace me with while at college. I guess there's that. ;)

Back to the thought provoking question I was asked. When I was talking to Adam about why I write, a verse from the awesome song Breathe (2 AM), by Anna Nalick, kept popping into my brain:

2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song
If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer
Inside of me threatening the life it belongs to

And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd
'Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud
And I know that you'll use them however you want to

I love this! Obviously I'm not writing a song, and I certainly don't (and would never) perform in front of a crowd, but these lyrics still make total sense to me. There were quite a few times when I have been violently shaking before writing in my journal. After writing, and getting it all out, I'm always calm and able to Breathe again. Well, not always, but that's when, and why, I decided to get professional help.

I hope you enjoy this song, and please remember to find something that helps you to breathe. Oh, and thank you for reading Us Too. Yes, I would continue writing in my journal if I saw there were 0 followers, but I cherish knowing that some of you may be using my words "however you want to." :)

Thank you.

Us Too