Saturday, September 24, 2016

The Pathways of Worry

Let me reiterate... Jordan was not even seven, and she decided to stop drinking and eating. And you'll never guess what I did... Yes, I began to worry. My thoughts meandered towards the same ineffective pathways they had many times before. I think I'll call them my pathways of worry. Creative, I know.

It's as if there was a not-so-welcome crystal ball inside my head. It revealed to me glimpses into Jordan's (albeit imagined) future. The problem was, these scenarios were based solely on my fears and anxieties. Unfortunately this led me to focus on the what-ifs of Jordan's future.

The newest addition to the ever-developing list of what-ifs was:
What if a future coach or mentor told Jordan she needed to lose a few pounds?

She had this intense level of self control and will power, and she would implement it with the hope of avoiding an uncomfortable situation. Potty training, riding her scooter, swimming, asking a bus driver to stop, and now avoiding bugs and using the bathroom.

So I asked myself: How is it that children blossom into independent functioning adults? That's easy. By experiencing life, and learning from new situations. And since everything is basically new to a young child, the whole blossoming-into-an-adult idea, it makes perfect sense. We live, and we learn.

But according to Jordan new meant uncomfortable. And uncomfortable meant she needed to gain control. Control over everything. How would that work?

Hence, my brain-filled pathways of worry. I don't feel the need, or desire, to list the reasons behind my trepidation. (I hope I'm using this word correctly). If you can envision any/all possible battles and risks involved with being a teenager, that's basically the futile place where my brain took me.

But Jordan is now eighteen, so I guess you could say my fears (thankfully) never came to fruition. I couldn't be more proud of her hard work and the manner in which she faces her life, with perseverance and positivity. But it certainly wasn't always easy. We were all forced to learn how to listen, coax, have each other's backs, shut our mouths, control our tempers, breathe, and admit that we needed to get help.

I'm so glad we did. :)

Thank you.

Us Too

Sure... now I see this.

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