Giving Up Control

The next night was another rough one. I’m having trouble following the details in my journal, but it had something to do with a bag that Jordan wanted to take on a field trip, but Kayla had already packed for gym class. Or something like that. All I know is we were blamed for always taking Kayla’s side, and Jordan loudly refused to go to bed. The tears didn’t stop and the lights didn’t go out until after 11:00, and that was only because her attendance at a friend’s party was on the line.  Stubborn!

As if we hadn’t had enough drama in one week, the next night was the one I was referring to when I mentioned the “breakthrough”. And it all began because Adam had the gall to ask what else she had left for homework. (Which in my mind was a very valid question, due to all the late night crap we had been going through, plus the fact that she was only in seventh grade. We’re not talking junior year, here.)

I think the best way to illustrate the magnitude of the emotions involved, is to list all the comments we forcefully threw at her. Here we go:

• You need to tell us!
• You need to give up the control.
• Accept our help. Your way is not working well.
• We love and care about you.
• We don't want you to study all of the time. It's not healthy.
• You need more than six hours of sleep a night (Her alarm went off at 5:30 every morning)..
• We know you are an excellent student but you don't HAVE to be, all of the time.

And get this....

Jordan told Adam what she had left for homework (with a little coaxing from us), and she let Adam help her!! Our daughter actually asked for help on the last part of her paper! Holy Crap!

For the rest of the night we repeatedly told her how proud we were of her. After all, this was a first for us, not having the night end in anger and hysterics. Yes, this may have been a first, but it certainly wasn't a last. If you continue following Us Too, you'll see what I mean by that.

I think (but I'm not sure) that having the same "breakthrough" occur over and over again, kind of makes it less of a breakthrough, and more of a problem.

Thank you.

Us Too