Wednesday, June 22, 2016

I Didn't Want To Be One of Those Moms

Jordan got a scooter. Her neighborhood friends also had scooters. Jordan wanted to ride hers with the handle down, more like a skate board. This obviously made it more difficult to balance, so she decided to sit on her butt, and scoot around that way. Which was all fine and good.

Until... when seeing her friend riding in the usual style, standing up holding onto the handle bar, she said with a very negative tone and attitude, "Her scooter is easier than mine." Just an FYI, they had the same exact scooters.

I'm not sure, but at this moment, there may have been actual steam coming out from my ears. It's great that she had the wherewithal to realize she didn't want to fall off her scooter. It was actually clever for her to figure out a safer, less risky way to use it. But then to say your friend's scooter is easier to use? I saw this as a blatant put down. It minimized her friend's accomplishment. Yes, this was because of Jordan's fears and anxieties, but it still didn't make it right.

In actuality, her friend most likely practiced using her scooter, until she learned to ride it. That's what people do.

So in my competitive, childish way, I began giving her a hard time. I said if she didn't practice using her scooter standing up, she wouldn't be able to keep up with her friends when she rode with them. At least I did have some proactive bits of information to give. I told her everyone needs to work at things in order to accomplish them, and if she practiced, she would also learn. Then she would be able to ride with her friends.

The funny thing is, I'm not even sure she cared if she could ride with her friends. I do know that I did. I made her feel badly, and then went inside. Cringe.

After I thought about what I did, I realized something. I didn't want to be one of those moms who pushed her kids. If she was having fun on her scooter, even while sitting on her butt, that's what was important. Why did it matter more to me, than it did to her? I had to remind myself that I only wanted her to be happy.

So I went back outside and told her my behavior was wrong, and I would try not to act like that again. I finished with, "You can ride your scooter on your head if you want to." This made her giggle.

Please keep in mind (and you will realize this if you continue reading Us Too) that I wasn't always this grown up, or this fair. For some reason at this specific time, I was. And I'm glad about that.

Thank you,

Us Too

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