Wednesday, June 8, 2016

It's Not Always Fair. Or Fun

So I guess it's a mom's responsibility to address this.

Jordan began to complain about being the oldest child. She would tell me that it "wasn't fair". Yes, we were harder on her. But I personally do not think it was because she was the oldest. I think, (and I'm going to be completely honest here) it was because she could be a royal pain in our butts. Although, if you've been following this blog at all, you are most likely aware of this small tidbit of information. She pushed, so inevitably, we pushed back a little harder. Was this unfair? I don't think so. But was it crappy? Yes, it certainly was. And that goes for everyone involved.

I talked to her about all the positive aspects of being the oldest. She had a CD player (which believe it or not, back then, was a big deal), got to go on play-dates, and to ballet class, and she also got to stay up later than the other two. One of her friends even asked her mother if she could have a baby brother, like Jordan. Thankfully these explanations appeared to satisfy her. It was funny, because she was the one who initiated her playtime with Kevin. 

When I asked her why she spent so much time with him, her explanation was that she "didn't like to hear him yell or cry".  And here I thought she just enjoyed making him laugh.

Cringe... not a huge one, but still worth mentioning. 

Because what comes to my mind now, is that Kevin's complaining (which I most likely didn't bat an eye at, because, let's face it, he was our third child), must have caused her some anxiety. (As I sit here remembering what a neurotic nut I was when Jordan was a baby.) His fussing made her so uncomfortable, that she took it upon herself to try to appease him. I wondered if it was our responsibility to take off some of the pressure, by separating them a bit. I also worried that our actions were sending the message to Jordan, that we expected her, to help keep Kevin amused and content.

Because ultimately, that was exactly what she was doing. She was like the ever-so-popular iPad, of today's world... only much healthier and more acceptable. At least that's what I hope.

Thank you,

Us Too

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