When all four of your beloved peeps piss you off, you know things are beginning to fall apart. None of this was good, because when a mom is upset, everyone is upset. Am I right? Please keep in mind that we were all feeling the stress and coping the best we knew how. Also, please remember when I write the word "cringe" it means I am not always proud of my past thoughts and behaviors, but my reactions are a big part of our story. This blog is about sharing honestly (even if I don't always come out looking like the Mom-of-the-Year) with the hopes that it might help other families going through similar experiences. And remember, we got through it. :)
Here are some excerpts from my 2011 journal:
Adam: All of a sudden he decided he didn't like Jordan's therapist or her psychiatrist. He thought we should "play hardball" with Jordan by turning her light off at 10:00 every night, no matter what. That sounded like loads of fun. So... have we come to the new conclusion that she's been doing all of this on purpose, she's been in total control this whole time, and the anxiety and OCD are nonexistent? Grrrr!!
Jordan (age 13 in 2 months): She mouthed off to Adam and told him to shut up. Oh I don't think so! I never thought I would ever think this of one of my children, but I had written: She really can act like a total bitch.
Kayla (age 11): Adam picked her up 10 minutes late from basketball practice and she also decided to mouth off to him. She too, told him to shut up. What the hell was happening?! She's lucky she even had a ride and that we allowed her to play.
Kevin: Yes, even 9 year old Kevin managed to piss me off. I let him watch an hour of TV because he said he was ready for bed. Then at 9:05 he told me he still needed to wash his face. So were you really ready for bed? I don't think you were.
The end of the world? Of course not. But life seemed to be spiraling, and our kids' behaviors were getting away from us. And I hated it.