It has been brought to my attention that in my last post, when I mentioned how Jordan "rocked back and forth" that perhaps the mental image it construed was upsetting or unclear. For this reason, I would like to explain with more clarity.
I'm not sure what I would have done, had I been in the room with her during this specific incident. I would like to think my gut reaction would have been to wrap my supportive arms around her, and hold on tightly. That being said, I can't ignore the fact that during many of our tumultuous moments of the past, I reacted with frustration and anger. Regardless, at this time, I did not follow her upstairs.
And I'm happy I didn't. She was almost fourteen, and developing the skills necessary to "self soothe", was going to be vital for her development, and for her future health and happiness.
Oxford defines self soothing as:
- (of a young child, especially one left to fall asleep on their own) stop crying without being comforted by a parent or caregiver. Been there, done that. And it was not at all fun
- Also: Comfort oneself when unhappy or distressed. Hey. That's what Jordan just did!
But Jordan's rocking-back-and-forth behavior was a sign of growth. The fact that she was able to calm herself down, regroup, and move past the anxiety... it was a much welcomed glimmer of hope.