I hated that it happened. I punched her door (her very hard door) a few times and wound up walking around with a black and purple hand for over a week. Try explaining that to someone at work. I screamed at her about how good she has it--how I was there for her when she had no friends, showed her how to use freakin tampons, hung with her when she volunteered for Girls On The Run when I co-coached. I was SO angry!
I was more hurt. Up until this point we had been close and talked about everything: friends, boys, family, sex, being gay, being straight, drugs, religion, life, love. And now it felt like she hated me.
I screamed "This is where you get your anger from. So what am I supposed to do now, CUT??" This is when she began to cry.
CRINGE for the entire situation.
Do I have regrets? Maybe some. Kayla and Kevin were both home and hiding out in their rooms. I can only imagine what they were thinking. But I'm not sure what I was supposed to do. What would have been more appropriate? It's always been my innate reaction to meet somebody's emotional/psychological state at their level. It's instinctual. Maybe it's a self protection mechanism, but I'm not sure. Should I have been calm and supportive? Sad and devastated? Some people may have reacted that way, but for better or for worse, I did not.
It was what it was, I guess.
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