Adam said there was no point in questioning and worrying about the past because it was wasted energy. He's so smart. :) I agreed, but I couldn't always help it. I felt (and still feel) very fortunate that he and I had been through enough together, that I knew I could count on him for support. Here's what I wrote about our relationship and where I 'was' emotionally, back in March of 2012:
Adam and I are closer than ever now, after all these years. In the beginning I was the stronger one, stable, secure, the teacher. Now it's changed. Now he has to support me more often. Life didn't used to scare me. Now it does. I think I was naive back then- just happy and naive. Now reality has set in and it scares me. College, retirement, friendships... all a source of anxiety for me. Not all the time, but sometimes. My naive attitude that everything will "work out" is basically gone. I still hope that it will, but I'm not sure.
So yeah, more good times. Not.
I never meant for this blog to be about me, but I'm finding that it can't always be avoided. For starters, occasionally it's taken word for word from my old journals. Not to mention that the intensity and connection between a mother and her child is like nothing else in the world. So if Us Too is about Jordan, than I guess it has to be about Me Too. 😊