Wednesday, May 25, 2016

The Pushing of My Buttons

Ain't that the truth.  

Besides dealing with the whole 'treatment of Kayla' situation, another of Jordan's main objectives seemed to be speaking to us with HUGE attitude. No matter what she was asked to do, I would get: “But Mommmmmm.” She sounded like a teenager. (Actually, now that I am seasoned at being the mother of teenagers, we tend to get the eye roll much more often than the whine). I wondered when, and where, she even heard that tone of voice being used.

Afterwards, if I reprimanded her for not doing what was asked, I would get: “Fine. Then I'm not going to play with you". She said this, to me. Her mother. Why, at this point, she thought I would even want to play with her, was beyond me.  So if I had to guess what my reaction towards these situations were, since I didn't write down the specific details,  I think I have a pretty good idea. Let's see... I was probably frustrated, surprised, pissed off, and somewhat competitive. And I'm sure all these emotions were blatantly apparent. My buttons were pushed, and they were pushed hard.

All of this back and forth, the bickering, the clashing of heads; it got old. I understand the complications of living with our three teenagers, who are slowly struggling to transform themselves into young adults. It can be difficult, since they each have their own unique ideas and idiosyncrasies. And we take care not to squash, or shut down, their emerging individuality.  But Jordan was four. How can you have a power struggle with someone who, in theory, should have no real power?

Who knows, maybe her intention was to get under my skin, because I gave her a reaction. My reactions, even today, tend to be a bit predictable.  Maybe she just wanted (or needed?) everything done her way, all of the time.  Maybe our chemistry, our way of communicating. just didn't flow smoothly. 

Again, trying to figure out all the answers, probably isn't what's most important.

Because today, with a lot of hard work and patience, we have learned a few things. We both learned to listen, we both try to think before we speak, and we both apologize, if we (inevitably) forgot to think before we speak.   

Thank you,

Us Too

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